Diet Tips from Blind Guy


While my Magoo Moments have been well received, they are becoming hard to come by. I mean, I still do stupid shit but I’m not sure that they are worth writing about. So I am going to change things up a bit.

As many of you know I regularly attend a CrossFit Box called the Brickyard. The people who go there are a mixture of people: moms trying to stay in shape, cops, some people who like the competitive aspect of the work outs and then there are the people who are very serious.

Don’t mistake my meaning here. You have to be serious about this sort of working out. It is very expensive and very, very intense. I take it seriously enough but, during the weekends, I like my beer and pizza. My excuse? Sure, here it is. Since losing my sight, there are quite a lot of fun things I cannot do. I am not going to stop myself from enjoying those things I can do. Like eating and drinking. Of course, everything in moderation. Yeah right.

Since I have been going to CrossFit, I have regularly injected some humor into these work outs. Normally this humor is injected using some sort of food. Example, “at what point is our ice cream break?” Or “What kind of beer are we carb loading with today?” You know, stuff like that. I usually hear laughter. Lately I have stepped up the shenanigans.

One of the owners, Michelle, who also coaches and gives dieting advice, has taken to scolding me and my wayward diet tips. My answer to this form of abuse? Oh baby, here it comes: Mr. Magoo’s Diet Tips: “Get a bag of Pecan Sandies and a pint of Haagen Daz, don’t forget the spoon. It isn’t going to be quite as good as sex but it will last longer and you can do it anywhere.”

The first time I shared this advice at the Brickyard, my buddy Mike said, “Your wife hung her head with shame. Michelle’s mouth just dropped open in disbelief, and the stay-at-home moms laughed wholeheartedly.

Maybe you had to be there but I thought this was kind of funny. Hope you enjoyed it.